Smallville: Bizarro Review
Sep. 29th, 2007 05:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kal_ellaWARNING: not so Chloe/Chlark or Lana/Clana friendly...
First off, is there a Smallville rule that says "there HAS to be clana in the opening credits" b/c frankly, its pissing me off.
ok then...
about the opening credits... now Allison Mack is ahead of Erica Durance... why the change? were Chloe-lovers bitching that Lois was ahead of Ms. Sullivan in the opening credits? i'm gonna go with yes. it should be Lois before Chloe, where she belongs. and it wouldn't hurt if she were before Lana also. other than that, i like the new additions, Laura and Aaron! Annette O'Toole's absense was a bit weird, honestly. Gonna miss her.
Martian Manhunter, his appearance was brief, but totally necessary. c'mon Clarky, we've been telling you you're not human for the past 7 years. get the picture? y/n? probably not...
Clark and his much cooler twin Bizarro... their fight scenes were alright. nothing spectacular, but i thought the special effects were great. too bad Bizarro is gone now, he was fun. R.I.P. bb.
Clark saving that little boy, his dog, and his father was cool. very Supermanish. yes, people, he does become Superman. hard to believe, right?
my favorite bald guy, Lex Luthor. he's now in police custody for the murder of histwo timing whore wife, Lana Lang Luthor. they lock him in a car, and holy shit, the dam bursts! the car he's in gets toppled over and he's basically trapped inside. is this the end of Lex Luthor? you're a moron if you said yes. as he's gasping for air, he sees a goddess-like chick floating in the water. America's Next Top Model, are you watching? that scene would make an awesome photoshoot. so yes, the heavenly creature appears to have rescued Lex. why? i don't know, that's why i'm watching the damn show to find out.
and now for Chlois: it's a ship, not a theory, understand? anyway, Lois is trying to rescue herself and Chloe from danger (the girl's probably dead already though) oh, and some random child as well. but there's no way out! what are they going to do??? the wall breaks and this heavenly light engulfs Lois. is it Kara again? is it Jesus? no, its Clarky. Lois is probably wondering how in the world Clark broke through that concrete, but in typical Lois Lane fashion, she shrugs it off. the future Mrs. Superman has got to save her cousin!
so, at the hospital, Clois is waiting for news on Chloe. she's not looking so good, you guys. i mean, she's so pale and dead-looking. quite unattractive, actually. am i being heartless? ask me if i care. ok, so back to Clois... Clois, Clois, Clois. amazing how they get together, right? it's fucking phenomenal. damn, i went back off topic, sorry. no, i'm not really sorry. ok! Lois tells Clark "bro, i got stabbed in my tummy. it hurted like hell, called Chloe, b/c she had nothing better to do, and then i passed out. but then, i got really hot, i woke up, and Chloe looking a bit sick in the corner. i must talk to Lana so that i can destroy her husband!" and Clark gives Lois these sad puppy dog eyes, Lois sees this and tells him "Clark! grow some fucking ball and watch Chloe die." Lois walks away.
Lionel Luthor, still alive. i think MM saved him.
Lois in the Luthor Mansion... how did she get in? simple, AlMiles wrote it that way. FAVORITE MOMENT: Bizarro!Clark & Lois. another anvil hint on why Clark & Lois are perfect for each other: B/C even your "Evil Side" wants Lois. eat your heart out, haterz. i never pictured Clark as being a "butt person". but looks like he is. loved the grabbing and the slapping. errr he grabbed, she slapped. Clark didn't grab AND slap. though, that would have been kickass too. and Lois kinda liked it. HEH!
Back at the hospital with Mr. Kent: so Chloe dies... nurse walks out, Clark asks if Chloe's alright, she won't say b/c Clark isn't family. basically, you're not important Clark. and Clark's all "fuck this, i'm going in" another nurse tells him Chloe's dead. Clark's sad for a while until he hears Chloe's cry for help. i was kinda hoping Clark lets her stay there so that i wouldn't have to watch Chloe pine for Clark FOR ANOTHER SEASON but that was not to be. i mean, its quite pathetic that you're pining for a guy that you'll NEVER get a chance with. ooh, too harsh? tough. Clark lets her out of the morgue, she's fine. yay. onto Chloe's power: what was that? empathy? hmmm intriguing. and what's the deal, bitch? why don't you want to talk about your freakish ability? oh well, look out for some angsty!Chloe moments this season. Chloe sees her death certificate, takes it, but then sees Lana's death certificate, Clark notices this and says "oh yea, Lana's dead" later on, Chloe looks at the happy moments she has shared with Lana on her laptop. she then quickly recovers and goes into Chloogle mode.
Clarky and Bizarro fight... Bizarro! don't go into the light!!! but he does, Clark punches him towards the sun, where he disintergrated. booooo!!!
Chlark moment at the Kent house: don't remember what they were saying, i always ignore Chlark moments, sorry. no, still not sorry. Lois saves the scene for me when she walks into the house, hugs Clark b/c Lana's "dead", and also threatens to kick his ass if he gropes her again. Clark looked bewildered, Chloe looked amused.
Lex turns himself in, not for Lana's "death" but for crimes he has done in his lifetime. ha, who would want to kill Lana? whoa! get in line, people! anyway, for us Lexana shippers, we got a bittersweet moment: Lex sitting in his jail cell, looking at a picture of himself and Lana, smiling happily. damn, what the fuck did these writers do to them?
oh, and let's not forget this craptastic moment: Shanghai, China... in the mass of thousands of dark-haired people, we see one person with white shoulder length hair. and surprise-surprise, it's Lana Lang. yea, Lana, what a way to blend in. anyway she goes into her new apartment, takes off her wig, looks up towards the sky, staring at the moon. wait, it gets even more craptastic... guess who's looking at the same moon back in Smallville? yep, Clark Kent. *pops open prescription pills and takes out the vodka*
and lastly, we see Kara on top of the Smallville water tower, wearing her hooters outfit. she flies of towards the sky, then towards the television viewers.
END!
so what did i think of the eppie? underwhelming, really. but it had it's moments. AND it also foreshadows more teenage angst. fucking predictable. and get this, they're not even teenagers. welcome to Smallville Season 7! XD~~~*
P.S. Chloe still will not become Lois Lane, and Lana is not the love of Clark Kent's life, despite what others say. m'kay?
ETA: i just realized that a lot of my friends are Chlark shippers `=D if you found anything offensive with my snark, i apologize. but hey, i did warn you. `=P
First off, is there a Smallville rule that says "there HAS to be clana in the opening credits" b/c frankly, its pissing me off.
ok then...
about the opening credits... now Allison Mack is ahead of Erica Durance... why the change? were Chloe-lovers bitching that Lois was ahead of Ms. Sullivan in the opening credits? i'm gonna go with yes. it should be Lois before Chloe, where she belongs. and it wouldn't hurt if she were before Lana also. other than that, i like the new additions, Laura and Aaron! Annette O'Toole's absense was a bit weird, honestly. Gonna miss her.
Martian Manhunter, his appearance was brief, but totally necessary. c'mon Clarky, we've been telling you you're not human for the past 7 years. get the picture? y/n? probably not...
Clark and his much cooler twin Bizarro... their fight scenes were alright. nothing spectacular, but i thought the special effects were great. too bad Bizarro is gone now, he was fun. R.I.P. bb.
Clark saving that little boy, his dog, and his father was cool. very Supermanish. yes, people, he does become Superman. hard to believe, right?
my favorite bald guy, Lex Luthor. he's now in police custody for the murder of his
and now for Chlois: it's a ship, not a theory, understand? anyway, Lois is trying to rescue herself and Chloe from danger (the girl's probably dead already though) oh, and some random child as well. but there's no way out! what are they going to do??? the wall breaks and this heavenly light engulfs Lois. is it Kara again? is it Jesus? no, its Clarky. Lois is probably wondering how in the world Clark broke through that concrete, but in typical Lois Lane fashion, she shrugs it off. the future Mrs. Superman has got to save her cousin!
so, at the hospital, Clois is waiting for news on Chloe. she's not looking so good, you guys. i mean, she's so pale and dead-looking. quite unattractive, actually. am i being heartless? ask me if i care. ok, so back to Clois... Clois, Clois, Clois. amazing how they get together, right? it's fucking phenomenal. damn, i went back off topic, sorry. no, i'm not really sorry. ok! Lois tells Clark "bro, i got stabbed in my tummy. it hurted like hell, called Chloe, b/c she had nothing better to do, and then i passed out. but then, i got really hot, i woke up, and Chloe looking a bit sick in the corner. i must talk to Lana so that i can destroy her husband!" and Clark gives Lois these sad puppy dog eyes, Lois sees this and tells him "Clark! grow some fucking ball and watch Chloe die." Lois walks away.
Lionel Luthor, still alive. i think MM saved him.
Lois in the Luthor Mansion... how did she get in? simple, AlMiles wrote it that way. FAVORITE MOMENT: Bizarro!Clark & Lois. another anvil hint on why Clark & Lois are perfect for each other: B/C even your "Evil Side" wants Lois. eat your heart out, haterz. i never pictured Clark as being a "butt person". but looks like he is. loved the grabbing and the slapping. errr he grabbed, she slapped. Clark didn't grab AND slap. though, that would have been kickass too. and Lois kinda liked it. HEH!
Back at the hospital with Mr. Kent: so Chloe dies... nurse walks out, Clark asks if Chloe's alright, she won't say b/c Clark isn't family. basically, you're not important Clark. and Clark's all "fuck this, i'm going in" another nurse tells him Chloe's dead. Clark's sad for a while until he hears Chloe's cry for help. i was kinda hoping Clark lets her stay there so that i wouldn't have to watch Chloe pine for Clark FOR ANOTHER SEASON but that was not to be. i mean, its quite pathetic that you're pining for a guy that you'll NEVER get a chance with. ooh, too harsh? tough. Clark lets her out of the morgue, she's fine. yay. onto Chloe's power: what was that? empathy? hmmm intriguing. and what's the deal, bitch? why don't you want to talk about your freakish ability? oh well, look out for some angsty!Chloe moments this season. Chloe sees her death certificate, takes it, but then sees Lana's death certificate, Clark notices this and says "oh yea, Lana's dead" later on, Chloe looks at the happy moments she has shared with Lana on her laptop. she then quickly recovers and goes into Chloogle mode.
Clarky and Bizarro fight... Bizarro! don't go into the light!!! but he does, Clark punches him towards the sun, where he disintergrated. booooo!!!
Chlark moment at the Kent house: don't remember what they were saying, i always ignore Chlark moments, sorry. no, still not sorry. Lois saves the scene for me when she walks into the house, hugs Clark b/c Lana's "dead", and also threatens to kick his ass if he gropes her again. Clark looked bewildered, Chloe looked amused.
Lex turns himself in, not for Lana's "death" but for crimes he has done in his lifetime. ha, who would want to kill Lana? whoa! get in line, people! anyway, for us Lexana shippers, we got a bittersweet moment: Lex sitting in his jail cell, looking at a picture of himself and Lana, smiling happily. damn, what the fuck did these writers do to them?
oh, and let's not forget this craptastic moment: Shanghai, China... in the mass of thousands of dark-haired people, we see one person with white shoulder length hair. and surprise-surprise, it's Lana Lang. yea, Lana, what a way to blend in. anyway she goes into her new apartment, takes off her wig, looks up towards the sky, staring at the moon. wait, it gets even more craptastic... guess who's looking at the same moon back in Smallville? yep, Clark Kent. *pops open prescription pills and takes out the vodka*
and lastly, we see Kara on top of the Smallville water tower, wearing her hooters outfit. she flies of towards the sky, then towards the television viewers.
END!
so what did i think of the eppie? underwhelming, really. but it had it's moments. AND it also foreshadows more teenage angst. fucking predictable. and get this, they're not even teenagers. welcome to Smallville Season 7! XD~~~*
P.S. Chloe still will not become Lois Lane, and Lana is not the love of Clark Kent's life, despite what others say. m'kay?
ETA: i just realized that a lot of my friends are Chlark shippers `=D if you found anything offensive with my snark, i apologize. but hey, i did warn you. `=P
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no subject
Date: 2007-09-29 11:20 pm (UTC)Oh I am guessing about AM being before ED...well she HAS been on the show since the beginning so maybe the honchos are giving her a little respect..i know after the top three they go alphabetical...so maybe they are trying to butter up AM for another season (since they seem to want one and she isnt signed).....thats my guess.
ok..take care...
Oh and chlois IS a theory not a ship...chlark is a ship...to many ppl chlois has zero to do with shipping...just so ya know.
no subject
Date: 2007-09-29 11:59 pm (UTC)But hey at least Lana's gone that makes the rest of the Season pretty promising. :D
no subject
Date: 2007-09-30 12:07 am (UTC)Wait. What? Recycle.
no subject
Date: 2007-09-30 01:39 am (UTC)