Confessions of a Survivor

[kal_ella]

SO I had an eventful day today. First, let me just say I’m not exactly a religious person, but I respect other people’s religious backgrounds and stuff - but after today, WTF DID I JUST WITNESS?

My friend Vanessa (vamparacely) wanted to do research for one of her classes about Scientology. The topic was something like “What specific group of people do you hate” she chose Scientology mainly b/c, well, she can’t stand them. So me and Leah (ladyle - yes, the same Leah who took that ~epically awesome~ pic of Archie from the AI Tour) agreed to go with her (I, for one, wanted to go for the LULZ that I’m sure I was going to get)

Safety first, we had to invent names for ourselves and different backgrounds (cause we don’t want to be stalked by them) I would reveal our fake names, but I’m scared bbs, I’m really scared.

Alright, Church of Scientology, here we come!

So we enter the jailhouse building and we were greeted by a nice lady who offered us coffee and cookies, then we remembered our friend's warning not to eat or drink anything they offer. Leah was safe, she already had Starbucks with her. So I refused the coffee as politely as I can for fear that they would’ve given me “the glare” by refusing their treats, but thankfully, the lady didn’t do that. then the lady asked us what we were doing there and Vanessa told her that she was curious about Scientology and wanted to know more about it, I was all “LAWRD, this is funny.” Then the lady showed us “the movie room” for an introduction of Scientology. So we sat there and watched the movie in all it’s LULZ-worthy glory: a clip of what I think is supposed to be God holding a monkey, psychology bashing, psychology brain-washing talk (remained hypocritical while doing so), famous/random people talking about Scientology (Kirstie Alley saying she would be dead without Scientology, random Chinese woman with a think ass accent, gay chef, Tom Cruise wasn’t in the clip, booooo) but the ending creeped us the fuck out. The guy in the video ended it like this, "you can walk out of here and not mention Scientology ever again, it's your choice... it would be stupid, but it's your choice" We went “WTF?” and this part pretty much made me want to get the hell out of there - forgot what was said before this, but he says "so you can go ahead and blow your brains out or jump off a bridge..." WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? Vanessa was expecting him to crawl out of the TV, The Ring-style.

After the movie, all I wanted to do was get the fuck out of there, but then this dude came and asked us to do a little survey (the survey asked for our addresses and I gave them my aunt’s address, I should warn her in case she starts receiving weird mail.) where we wrote what we thought about “the movie” and I wrote what they wanted to hear (“L. Ron was fascinating, he wrote so many books, I want to be a better person!”) The dude was kinda stalking Vanessa when she revealed (as her fake background) that she was studying psychology. LOL oh Vanessa, you silly goose. So he gave her a stress test or some shit and me and Leah were asked to step back b/c us hovering Vanessa might make her nervous or something, but I’m sure she wanted us to stay in case crazy dude might inject her with special kool-aid or something. While that was going on, Leah and I started playing with the touch TV and we danced for some reason. It always party time with Leah & Jess! `=D After Vanessa was done with her “test” we bid farewell to the crazies and left the funhouse, we decided not to laugh until we’ve reached the next block… and shit, did we let loose. We couldn’t believe we’ve experienced something as crazy as that, seriously. This is something I’m sure we will never forget.

And people, anything you’ve read about Scientology in the media… they are all probably true. and ngl, Scientology makes me thankful that i'm Catholic. not saying Catholics are better, just saying Catholics would never tell you to "blow your brains out"

if you want to read more on our epic adventure, there's more info at Leah's LJ. you can get her point of view of things and some blanks that i had about our journey. LOL

Comments

[popcultaddict.livejournal.com]

LMAO. That's so fucking crazy dude. XD

"so you can go ahead and blow your brains out or jump off a bridge..."

IDK whether to laugh or be creeped out for you. XD

[kal-ella.livejournal.com]

DUDE, i wanted to get out of there so badly. i've never been so terrified in my life. LOL

[vamparacely.livejournal.com]

See I knew if I said I was a Psych major they would be interested. They fell right for the bait!

[kal-ella.livejournal.com]

oh god woman, you planned on saying you were a psych major that whole time? X____X a little warning would have been nice. -______-

[summer-breeze14.livejournal.com]

I <3 Leah just based on the fact that because of her, I have an awesome icon - it's almost TOO awesome for words.

This entry creeped the fuck outta me. I would've run outta there SO FAST.

And where is your virgin megastore entry, woman? I'm waiting for the epicness! XDDDDDDD

[kal-ella.livejournal.com]

LULZ Leah really does capture the most random poses. XD

INORITE? i was scared shitless. DO NOT WANT to experience that ever again.

don't worry bb, that entry is coming soon. RL just needs to take a backseat. XD~~*